B E B E B E B E Well I wish I had my picture on the Rolling Stone today B E B E I wish that the Enquirer would spread a rumor that I was gay B E B E Well I wish I had some buddies some movie stars and such B E B E Cause I probably wouldn't worry about the two of us as much E F# B C#m7 G#m And I'd spend all my money on caviar and cocaine E F# E F# B E B E And I would not remember how you broke my heart today B E B E You know I wish I had a super model so skinny and so wild B E B E And a waitress in Nevada She says she's carrying my child B E B E Well I'd drive down Sunset Boulevard My hair blowin' in the wind B E B E And I'd stop at fancy restaurants and they'd finally let me in E F# B B/Bb G#m And I'd spend all my money on caviar and cocaine E F# E F# B E B E And I would not remember how you broke my heart today SOLO B E B E Yeah I wish I had my picture with the Rolling Stones today B E B E And I wish that the Enquirer would spread a rumor that I was gay B E B E I wish I knew a movie star someone like Charlie Sheen B E Cause if he'd hang out with Kato Kaelin B E Well I guess he'd hang out with me E F# B B/Bb G#m And I'd spend all my money on caviar and rogaine E F# E F# B E B E And I would not remember how you broke my heart today